dollar hundred hungry laptop mind

Is a great book read it

moving on...
my life has become utterly silly.
i donapos;t ever have a minute, nor do i really want one.
it is werid having one anyways.
�i dont really do much.�
i just hang out.
i have no money.
soon i am moving, i will have less.
i think my cat has flees.
and that sucks.

now that small talk is done.

i am clueless.
i do not know when how what i feel�
i get mad not really mad that is my cover
in reality i am confused and no one that has ever shown they care about me truely give a fuck.
it is something i am just going through (true)
no one can help (true)
they can not understand (true)
i have heard it all.�
but fuck that.
make it better
i loved someone and it is like i never did
i feel nothing
NOTHING
i cant write
i cant play
i can not paint
i cant even think
i repress so much
and i am trying not to
but it is my instinct�
and i do not know how to fight human instict, i am learning it is the most powerful human emotion there is it involves your gut, brain, heart and soul.
i want to laugh so hard my toes hurt
i want to feel so strong my stomache churns
i want to cry
i just want to cry

i am learning that when you grow up: you give up more but must just understand when you do not recive.



that is bullshit.
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